Tom Leykis is Back!  

Short post – but this is always worth your time!


Rejection is a time-saver!

For those of you that have or have not been there: I will paint a picture for you.

You find a cute girl – You chat her up – Things go well – You give her your number and split.

Boom. What a pimp you are for picking up a random girl at the supermarket. Only a Don Juan like yourself could charm a girl over the fumes from the gasoline at the pump. Despite your bad coffee breath, you snagged that girls number at the espresso shop.

All is well, now it’s just a game of wait…….and wait……and wait some more…..

There there young Dawson, we’ve all been there.

A week has passed: No call.       Seriously- The fuck lady?

Your anticipation was high, emotions were flaring, things were great!      And now? Nothing.

Next time you don’t approach that hottie downtown due to your fear of getting rejected; think of this…

Rejection is your friend. If you can take a big ole No-shot to the chin and keep on fighting, then you’re a friend of mine. Deep down you need to thank said lass for saving your time. A simple no means you aren’t wasting time or resources on a girl or activity that may not ever take place. You can bid farewell to the texts/calls you’d send out in order to get her attention. Meanwhile you can spend this time fishing, hitting the gym, slamming a light beer, or a plethora of other manly activities.

So don’t hate the women who reject you; thank them. They are saving both parties a whole lot of time and frustration. The ones who lead you on though….Make them pay for doing such an activity. I will touch on this when I reinitiate my coffee buzz.

Your leige – signing off.

Where do you stand?

I am often asked by the young men around my social circle how they are doing performance wise in the female pounding department. Being the finance guru that I am, I realized there is a mathmatical and pragmatic way to go about appraising one’s worth in regards to his female companionship over his lifetime of pounding.

Some look at their sexual conquest scale as a bell curve: Placing the cuter hunnies towards the upper portion and the dragons toward the lower, only to find a zenith in the middle of the two extremes of which to extrapolate an average bang score. Okay, touché young grasshopper. However, I look at this as more of a statistical measure that can only be applied to chumps who have banged less than 10. In that case, it makes sense.

This Is For The Beginngers

Once you shed your pair of hamster sized testacles and start becomming a man you are going to want to shift scales. Chance has a solution. I don’t want an average bang (even though that is a good supporting measure), but more of a net value, that increases with every notch you pound.

For example – Dude A pounds 5 girls, each of them are fugly as sin! I will prorate them at 2 each. His final CB (Chance Bradley) score will be 10 (5 girls X 2 pts each).

If you’ve done this get off my website.

Dude B had a girlfriend his whole life but she was a smoking 10 (even though I don’t give 10’s). His final CB score will be a 10 also (1 girl X 10 pts).

Love it.

So is the guy who really banged more females a bigger player? NO! Of course not, he’s just a dragon slayer while dude B is a white knight givin’ his 10 a ride around on his stallion. Only problem is, only one girl is riding his stallion when he should have a stable full of purebreds, giving rides to every lass on the country side.

Giddy up Mofugga

Even if guy B took a sloth home and wrecked her (we’ll say a 3), his new score would be 13 (10+3), and would thus have a higher present value than the dragon slayer dude A.

It’s a compound measure gentlemen, that increases with every P in V interraction. Here’s a little scale according to CB of where you stand if you are in your mid 20’s.

0-5 = You must be playing dungeons and dragons and slipped and fell into a woman’s vagina.

5-10 = A one girl guy…drop her and explore. Theres a whole new world out there Christoper Columbus!

10-250 = You’re starting to understand it, continue upon this path with guns blazing.

250-1000 = You’re doing well. I know you don’t have a girlfriend because you understand what you are capable of.

1000+ = Keep bangin’ till your unit falls off brother cause you’re doing God’s work!

This is tentative. Obviously as your age goes up the scale shifts up as well to account for more time having passed. It’s obvious to point out that the better looking girls you get with, the less (quantity) you need; and vice versa. You could look at this as an intersecting curve that we see in real world economics to find your equilibrium bang potential (which will be the zenith of said bell curve above).

I said it once and I’ll say it again. Everything with women can be explained in a financial/economical sense.

Whether you are a dragon-slayer, a white knight, or bangin’ anything with a pulse…Do what you do because you know Chance Bradley has your back.